July 24, 2008

Daily Total: 47.45 Ride Hours: 00:00

Insulin Breakdown:
Meal: 8.70u
Corr: 10.90u
Basal: 27.85u

Daily Carb Intake: 179g

Last chance to post before heading to State College, PA tomorrow morning. Lots of things on my mind.

Went to the grocery store to pick up "supplies". I got to the check out line, and as I put the stuff up out of the basket I realized that I must be a little more worried about this event then I have been aware of. The hypos of Cohutta left more of mark on my subconscious then I could see or feel from the surface.

I bought 20 small bags of M&Ms, 2 bags of jelly beans, a 6 pack of regular soda, a small jar of Nutella, 2 Three Musketeer bars, 3 cans of Monster Java lo-ball, and some bananas.

Are you kidding me?

As I walked out of the store and to the car, I tried to reach out to one of the few peeps who would understand. A Type1Rider teammate.

None where available, which was a good thing as I needed to relax and just come to terms with what the problem was.

NO WAY I was going to have another situation like TN. That was a fluke since I was so sick the week before. I know that. I am as prepared as I possibly could be for the challenge of a 101 mile loop through the mountains of mid PA. I have a great new tool in the Cozmo Insulin Pump that will give me assistance that I didn't have before. This will be a challenge as a T1 for sure, but I have been faced with TONS of challenges before, and I relish the opportunity to attempt another 100 miler. Besides, I would have enough food (read emergency funds) on me to feed a small army, and I just needed to ride my race and finish.


Truthfully, I do feel a bit more pressure for this one, though. I have received hundreds of emails this year from other Type 1's commenting on my race efforts. Telling me that they think of me on my race days and how they go for ride. Or they try just a little bit harder in their spin class on that morning knowing they have a 1 hour class and I have 10+ hours more to go. Very inspiring stuff to read.

One message in particular I received about 3 weeks ago has been rattling around in my head for the past week or so. It was from a young 5th grade BMX racer (and his dad) from St. Louis who thanked me for giving them the belief that it was still safe for him to ride his bike after a very recent Type 1 diagnosis. I was about the same age when I was diagnosed, and, oddly, that's the second time this year I have heard that same statement.

I feel a huge responsibility to all of these other people who take time to write, and, like me, have diabetes. I MUST prove that I can indeed do an endurance race like this, regardless of the challenges and possible "risks". That Type 1 diabetes, when managed correctly, can be controlled enough so that ANY diabetic may participate in ANY event they may choose.

Today is one of those days that I feel really anger towards this disease. It affects 10s of millions of people here in the US alone, and, as mentioned, alters their lives in ways that cannot be measured, tracked, or surveyed. From my past 32 years living as a Type 1 I know first hand what this disease can do, and I obviously still let a glimpse of the fear of it creep into my head every now and again.

I can guarantee you that I will be almost solely thinking that specific thought as I hear the click-click of my cleats going into my pedals at 7:00am on Saturday morning. With each turn of my pedals over the 10+ hours, 101 miles, and 10000 feet of climbing I will relentlessly and repeatably hammer that black voice of worry and doubt back into oblivion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will push myself as hard as I need to so that these two young people in particular (and myself) know that darn right, it is perfectly safe to go ride your bike. For as long as you want to.

Just one more....